Addicted I want to fly I want to have my whole world torn apart I want to dive so deep that I may not get out I want to get addicted I want you flowing inside I want to get addicted I’ll be shot through and through and you’re the only one who’ll do I want to walk to heaven but I want to wear your shoes I want to fall to pieces I want to come unglued I want to get addicted I want to know how it feels I want to get addicted and you will overtake me until there’s nothing at all immersed, cursed, unprotected blessed, second guessed, resurrected I want to get addicted I want to know how it feels I want to get addicted and you will overtake me until there’s nothing at all you’re the one who’s gonna take me higher drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama guitar: Nick Moselle strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter french horn: Amy Sanchez trombone: Adam Theis EP, piano, voice: MB That's all there is if you write your name in pen & ink there’s nothing to be done if you take your toys and run away you’ll be the only one same mistakes, different play same old shit, different day how it all got this way I’ll never know every time I wake up I remind myself again that’s all there is if you wanted all that privacy I would’ve let you go if you had to find out on your own you could’ve told me so over space, over time down we go, doing fine happy trails, here’s to you and all you are can’t afford to spend this time awaiting something new that’s all there is maybe the time will come / maybe it won’t be long maybe there’s nothing wrong every time I see you it becomes more clear to me that’s all there is strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter bass, guitars, piano, voice: MB The good old days you didn’t have to hide it it’s easy to see you didn’t have to say it it’s already clear you don’t love me like you used to you don’t care the way you did you don’t take the time to tell me and you never – you never really did slowly I’ve been finding out / it’s not so bad nostalgia’s just a wish for things / we never had but your words will still be with me as your presence fades away I may not be the best thing going but I know that I’m ok when everybody asks me where we go from here it’s more convenient to surrender than simply disappear you don’t love me like you used to you don’t care the way you did you don’t take the time to tell me and you never really did drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama guitar: Nick Moselle, MB strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter french horn: Amy Sanchez EP, voice: MB When I was a star we made this thing move just as far as we could when nobody thought it would work I gladly took everything you had to give can’t blame you for letting me go if you bring the vodka then I’ll bring the punch the show starts again and it’s never enough and everyone laughs ‘cause it just gets too hard they remember when I was a star everyone wants you as much as I did the first time I stood in your glow soon you’ll turn into the one they adore don’t be afraid of it now it feels like betrayal to end up on your own you’re stung by the things you wanted so much and most of us know ‘cause we still have the scars love only takes you so far you’re alone, wherever you are you take on the crowd ‘cause you have to you go out and hope for the best sometimes you get what you need from them sometimes you fill in the rest it helps to pretend that this world never ends but it does, and we all fall apart never thought to look out that far long ago, when I was a star drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama electric guitar: Nick Moselle acoustic guitar: MB strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter french horn: Amy Sanchez piano, synth, percussion, voice: MB I'm not I could be one of those men you dream of I could be one you avoid like the plague somewhere between is the man I can offer which might not be quite what you need don’t make me waste all my time trying to be someone else if I’m not the one then nothing else matters I can’t be something I’m not I could improve my skills of deception I could assume a new identity but how can it be that all this pretending is better than being alone don’t say you love me and then go pulling that rug out again if I’m not the one then let’s say it’s over I can’t be something I’m not I don’t know what you want if all I’ve got’s not enough don’t try to rationalize it’s easy to love a disguise since I’m not the one then someone else should be I can’t be something I’m not drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter piano, voice: MB I'm losing you I’m losing you you know it too it’s strange to finally see it in the hard light of the day it’s odd to be aware of things we never could’ve said I won’t pretend it’s not the end the one thing we hold onto in our silly little lives is thinking we’re the author of the story that unfolds I know it’s true you love me too I wish that were enough sometimes I can’t believe it’s not and everything comes to a stop I really tried to make things right sometimes I thought of giving up but never drew the lines between the dots you left me but now we know which way to go it ought to be much clearer with the path in front of us it ought to feel much better but somehow it never does that’s one for me and two for you it’s numb for me and new for you but what’s it for if you never knew you lost the war because I asked you to I’m losing you you know it’s true and someday soon everyone else will too strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter french horn: Amy Sanchez bass, piano, voice: MB Space invader in a place long ago far away turned the page on a life that I made but when I go back now the words all sound the same it’s time to realize I’ve got no one to blame don’t need to close my eyes to watch things turn to black I finally recognize you’re never coming back space invader give me another chance still transmitting send a signal back in a maze long ago far away got confused by the traps that I’d laid and when I tune in now the static’s all I hear it’s time to realize I’m all alone out here don’t have another plan don’t know I ever will I can’t resign myself to never being heard space invader give me another chance still transmitting send a signal back percussion: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama guitar: Nick Moselle strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Martin St Pierre french horn: Amy Sanchez piano, voice: MB Consider it done all that you hope, all that you know fills in the space when nobody’s home wait for the calm, wait for the flood make a new dream to cover it up feel the time that we have counting down as fast as it can until then you’re the one everyone hopes, everyone knows it’s hard to explain anything else you talk to your friends til you have all the facts you talk to yourself just to cover your tracks moving ahead, moving along take a look and you’ll see how our world was meant to be out of sight, out of mind, out of love all the shame in our eyes puts a permanent bend in the light so for now, consider it done forgive and forget is a hard one to know you run out of space just before it takes hold I wish that the simple things still had a chance but every attempt just falls back in our lap I’d love you to death if you thought it would help I’d sweep up the ashes and glue them myself I’d make you believe that there’s nobody else drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama guitar: Nick Moselle, MB strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter piano, voice: MB Turn of the screw you think it’s too late well maybe you’re right the end of a dream the end of the night take what you need leave what you don’t start to get lost and meet the unknown become what you are get out on your own get used to the feeling of being alone you wish you could fly or drive far away there’s an infinite loop that gets in your way you cast on the water but love doesn’t float everything falls apart whenever you go you think it’s too late well maybe you’re right the end of a dream the end of the night and leaving is easy it’s nothing to you like a stone in your pocket like a turn of the screw drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama guitar: Nick Moselle strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Martin St Pierre french horn: Amy Sanchez piano, voice: MB Today's the day I die can’t you picture us still so much in love talking round and round the things that matter most seems so long ago you know well enough you can’t help growing up it’s just not worth the pain to wonder who you are it’s time for us to call it off to put away all other thoughts and strip away the camouflage today’s the day I die you can’t promise me I’m the one you need cause maybe I won’t fit the ways you want to be and the spaces in between I can’t promise you I’d know what to do sometimes fucking up is the only choice you get it’s hard for us to ever learn when slings and arrows do their worst and sadness floods the universe today’s the day I float away today’s the day I die can’t you picture us still so much in love but wishing’s not enough you wonder what the future holds you had your chance to almost know forget the man who loved you most today’s the day I blow away today’s the day I die drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama electric guitar: Nick Moselle acoustic guitar: MB strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Martin St Pierre french horn: Amy Sanchez piano, voice: MB Big nowhere can’t imagine anybody questioning you surely did your best, it’s not some kind of test wouldn’t be like you to take off recklessly I’d never say unfair, our judgment was impaired and I wish there was a plan from up on high but every time I look it’s only sky as we say goodbye and we take that ride on an endless slide to nowhere no time left for sentimental pondering you turn the key it’s shut, and nothing’s getting out packing up the sympathetic memories won’t do you any good, they’d trick you if they could but make sure you’ve got everything you had cause after this we’re never coming back as we tip our hats to the recent past and we make our way so brace yourself before we hit the ground and turn this motherfucker upside down empty all the pieces on the floor or does it even matter anymore gotta find a way out of this wildnerness gotta find a path out of the dark gotta find a place where I can see again see myself for what I have become everything I had is just a memory everything I knew has flown away all I’ve got are pieces but they make no sense they’re just the random fragments of a dream will you go where I go will you see what I see will you come to the big nowhere will you come home to the big nowhere drums: Dan Thompson bass: Vivi Rama guitar: MB, Nick Moselle strings: Ana Lenchantin, Heather Lockie, Julie Carpenter french horn: Amy Sanchez EP, piano, voice: MB All songs © 2002-2004 Matthew Black (ASCAP) My sincere thanks to all the excellent musicians who contributed to this CD. It wouldn't be the same without you. Tracked & mixed in MB's studio using Cubase SX and UAD-1. Drums tracked at Douglas Grean's studio using Protools. Mastered by Dave Collins. Sleeve concept by Gino Lee. Special thanks to Nikki Nash.